I hope everyone had a great Easter today. I didn't get to see little August, the picture was taken yesterday. We just had too much going on today so we didn't get to make the trip. We went to my husband's families dinner and easter egg hunt.
The kids had a great time and the food was so yummy. I also got dressed up and did my makeup for the first time since before my delivery. All in all it was a great day of spending time with the family and being thankful for our blessings.
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I got to feed my little man finally. He is doing lots better but his feeding is still an issue. He sometimes eats half of the bottle before passing out. Other times he just gets a couple ccs and he is out. Once he is able to drink his bottle completely, or pretty close, for a full day they will take out the feeding tube. And then three days of doing good he will get to come home. So let's hope he gets better with that soon. It's been tough driving back and forth, and not being able to stay all the time. And the nights I do stay I miss my other kids. I just can't wait to have us all under one roof. Below are some photos I took with my cannon camera. He is just too precious. August is off the nasal cannula and all ivs. He got to wear his first outfit and I personally think it's pretty sweet. Sorry I haven't been writing much. It's just been a lot. So photo updates and quick sentences have been good for me, but bad for blogging. I promise i'll get back into it when things settle down.
Just some new pics of our little fighter from the past two days.
August is a fighter. Tomorrow he will turn one week old. In this almost week, he has came off the ventilator, decreased his medicine completely, and is now off the bill light. He is still on the blanket. He still has his IV fluids and nutrition. He takes breast milk through his feeding tube in his nose. A lot better from where he started!
Tomorrow is Alec's funeral, and I am no where near prepared. Greg and I cried when we went to the funeral home just to discuss things. I do not know how we are going to be tomorrow. But I know we will have our friends and family by our side. I couldn't not ask for a better support system. XoXo Natasha At 1:30 am on April 1st, I thought my water had broke. I quickly got up to find out that it wasn't my water, but blood. And lots of it. My underwear was soaked front to back. Pants, the blanket I had between my legs, and the sheets were all soaked. I knew this wasn't a good sign. Having had the laser surgery for ttts back in December, I knew I had more chances of going into labor early. As my husband and I rushed around to get ready to make the half hour drive to the hospital, I continued to bleed. I put on clean clothes but didn't have a pads. I was too nervous, and not thinking clearly. The thought of grabbing a towel or something to keep me from soaking my pants again completely went over my head. By the time we reached the hospital at 2:30, I was soaked to both knees. Luckily my pants were black so it wasn't noticeable. I just felt it. We had to wait in the er for a nurse to come get us. Once to the ob I was weighed before getting hooked up to the monitors. They had me on the heart rate and contraction monitors. I was having contractions but they weren't very strong. Just a little uncomfortable. For the next 3 hours I sat in that room waiting for the ultra sound tech to arrive. Still bleeding the entire time. At 5 I was finally getting an ultra sound. At 5:30 the results were back. The nurse came in and said, "We're going to get you ready for a c-section, your placenta is detaching." At 33 weeks, I knew August had a good chance of survival. But I wasn't sure what complications he was going to have. I had just had an ultrasound the morning before in southbound at the maternal fetal medicine center. Not even 24 hours had passed since that appointment. I delivered the boys at 6:06am. They showed me August, held him up by my face for a few seconds. He was kicking and screaming since he was taken out. He was a decent size and had dark hair. I was told he was going to be transported to another hospital about 30 minutes from where we were. My hospital doesn't have a nicu and all babies under 35 weeks, regardless of health, have to go to the nicu. I didn't see August again until two hours after delivery. He was getting ready to be transported. I was told he had to be put on a ventilator. His breathing was good at first, but he started to get very tired. He also had a lot of blood in his lungs since he breathed it in the entire time I was waiting. I wanted so badly to be able to just hold him. But I knew he needed this. About another hour after August left, Alec was finally brought to me. I knew it would be hard to see him. I lost him at 20 weeks, and his body would be misshapen from the lack of fluids, blood, etc. Before he was brought to me he had his hand and feet prints taken. As well as some photos. When I got the photo album later that day of the photos taken, I was amazed at how different he looked just in the few hours before I saw him. His hands and feet were more formed, as well as the rest of his body. When I first got to hold him. Later in the day. I kept Alec until I was discharged the following day around one. It was hard to give him back. I will forever remember how it felt to completely say goodbye. I may have lost him in December, but it wasn't finished until that moment. The next time I will be holding him, it will be his ashes. TTTS has forever changed my family. It has taken a son, a brother, a twin from us. But we will always be able to look at August and know exactly what he would have looked like. We will always remember that he was alive for 20 short weeks. He kicked, he wiggled, he stretched. And i'll always know he's loved. And hope that somehow, he knows it too. -- |
Hello and welcome to my blog. I'm Natasha and I am a wife, mother, and collector of hobbies.
I will always have a strong passion for hair and makeup, I am a licensed cosmetologist but I am no longer working in that field. Fashion is something that has always intrigued and inspired me. Archives
April 2019
CategoriesAll images are either taken by me or are stock images.
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